DAY TWELVE: THE FEAST OF THE EPIPHANY/TWELFTH NIGHT

TWELFTH NIGHT, AND WHERE HAVE ALL THE PARTIES GONE?

Twelfth Night is a bit confusing, as far as the chronology of events is concerned.  Since the Eleventh is the Feast of the Magii, and the Twelfth is the Feast of the Magii's visiting the baby Jesus, when did they actually arrive and see Him?  As the story goes, the baby was born, the Hebrew infants were massacred, Jesus was circumcized, the Wise Men got directions from Herod, after which they finally visited the Boy King and blew off King Herod, who'd asked them to return to him and tell him where he could murder the--er, visit the Messiah.  But, really, it's a rough timeline, the order of which different regions and denominations disagree on, intermingled with older, Pagan traditions and New Year celebrations, and such.

The point is, it's all a party.  Exept for the horrid slaughter of the innocents, and the martyrdom of Stephen, only good stuff is being celebrated, here. Even these events had their silver linings--the Little Lord Jesus escaped Herod the Great, and martyrdom is genuinely considered to be a great thing (if not the best), being a one-way ticket to Seventh Heaven for the martyr themself, and an inspiration to us all to not compromise our principles.  Plus, the Sun/Son is returning, the end of Winter's death and chill is nigh, so let the parties roll (!), is the general idea.

As for the particulars of Twelfth Night, I can tell you what happens in Spain and other places in the present day: January 6th is when the kids get their Christmas presents, not Christmas Day, and they are brought by the Three Kings, not by the roly-poly Man In Red (if you know your marketing history, he is both roly-poly, and red, because he drinks Coca Cola).  Spanish kids know all of the “Wise Kings’” names and faces.  The children fill their shoes with straw and leave them out for the Kings’ camels, exactly the way the Old Norse would leave straw out for Sleipnir, Odin The All-Father’s flying eight-legged horse, or the way we leave cookies and milk for Santa Claus and his flying eight reindeer.  As in some other places, the Spanish make an Epiphany cake, into which they bake a small figure or plastic toy, or a bean.  Whoever gets the piece with the bean/toy is declared King, and gets to preside over the festivities.  In merry Old England, the King/Queen had the honor of leading all attending the Twelfth Night party in songs and games.

At some Mexican friends' house yesterday, they served a "Baby Jesus" cake.  Nevermind that the eponymous plastic figure was whiter than a Viking's bottom and looked  like an extraterrestrial, and that the hostess had placed one in every piece (negating the whole "king of the party" idea), it was a touching inclusion into their party and culture.  Anyway, there are those who believe Jesus looked like a northern European, blue-eyed boy, and other who think he was an alien, so....there.  Ethnic variants aside, the point, again, is--it's a party.

In Spain today, controversy has ensued over the recent inclusion of Santa Claus (Papá Noel) in their pantheon, as evidenced by an article forwarded to me by a native Spaniard urging his nation to reject the Man With The Bag and retain the Three Kings as the bringers of gifts and bearers of Spanish culture.  We shall see how that turns out; it depends whether the Spanish have it in them to fight off the sugary, caffeinated spectre of Coca-Cola (they are coffee drinkers, so there is hope).

I’m glad I don’t live in Bulgaria.  There, they throw a crucifix into an icy cold river, and the first one to fish it out receives a special blessing (and good health for the family, they say).  But even if you avoid volunteering  for polar diving, you might be one of the men dancing in the same freezing waters to inaugurate the “crucifix ritual”...If you'll notice, though, everyone in that icy waterway below is smiling.

In the British Isles of yore, Twelfth Night parties are when people pulled out all the stops for one last, grand hurrah….That is, after they had disposed of all the Christmas decorations.  Wreaths and holly garlands, the mistletoe were consigned to the fire—any holly spine left unburnt would turn into a goblin!   Bonfires are also a thing--because how else were you going to burn all that green?

In echo of British celebrations, two hours from Denver, in a park in Eagle, Colorado, they hold a huge bonfire to burn all their Christmas trees, along with free ice skating and hot chocolate.

According to an English newspaper, the Daily Mirror, it was a folk belief that spirits lived in the holly and greenery used to decorate for Christmas. The festive season provided shelter for the spirits, but they needed to be released when the season was over. If the custom wasn't followed, it was believed to cause agricultural problems in the spring (similar to not Wassailing).

During the subsequent festivities, “All the world are Kings and Queens.  Everybody is somebody else; and learns at once to laugh at, and to tolerate, characters different from his own by enacting them—all conspires to throw a giddy splendour over the last night of the season.”

Sounds great, doesn’t it?  Jolly old England!  Is it still?  How jolly is the U.S., in comparison?  Well, have you read Barbara Ehrenreich’s book about the history of communal celebration (Dancing in the Streets: A History of Collective Joy)?  You must!  The gist of this book: through the history of our ‘civilization,’ the amount of time devoted to revelry has been whittled down to a sliver, and the nature of our carousing has been toned way down as well.  People used to, as Eddie Murphy sang “party all the time”.  I read somewhere that the Romans had 175 festival days a year—a bit like our weekends and holidays, but with more punch, and dancing. 

At one time, even churches lacked bolted-down benches and doubled as party halls, with dancing and singing.  Imagine!  This was in the days before the joke: “Why don’t Christians have sex standing up?—Because it might lead to dancing.”.  You couldn’t have gotten a laugh with that one before the Puritans—because, before the bloody Puritans, nobody had thought to prohibit dancing yet (or Christmas.  The Puritans banned Christmas!).  Full-throated merriment was still OK in God’s eyes.

But societies' pampered and paranoid elites progressively banned such revels, because as the rich become richer the poor get poorer, revels turn to riots, and heads will roll. So--no more parties in the church!  Bolt down the benches, and you are like a kindergarten teacher who has successfully arranged her room like a maze to minimize overly spirited tikes' room for sprinting--exept, in the church, what you have removed is the celebrations that formerly rang out in that space.  You have made church a solemn and sober affair that many would eventually and instinctively avoid.  I suspect this is how atheists were born--and why the guillotine was invented.

The elites have been so successful at curbing revels in churches that I cannot even google an image of a church with chairs pushed aside so as to hold a party in it.  This, even though I have successfully browsed to images such as Twelfth Night celebrations in Eagle, Colorado--??  

I guess my point is, in this case as in many others, I’m all for turning back the clock and extending our celebrations, making them merrier and more meaningful.  This is why I love the Twelve Days of Christmas (really fourteen counting Christmas Eve and Christmas Day—and you have to).  Even if I don’t have a bunch of Old English friends with which to carry on for these two weeks, they do give me more chance to reflect, and they have given me at least more opportunities to celebrate with my American friends and family.  I hope in the future they give me even more.  What’s else, I hope that you, reader, faithful and tireless (which you certainly are, if you have read all my twelve days’ worth of posts), are there to celebrate with me.

PLAYLIST, available on YouTube at https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLdartdqjh56BbrHf5hAkhxSMC_iBBTLhw: 

Eddie Murphy - Party All the Time

Aaaaaand, turns out there's plenty of songs called "Epiphany"...

Andrew Rayel - Epiphany (Extended Mix)

Epiphany- Staind Unplugged

bare: A Pop Opera - Epiphany

Mark Petrie - Epiphany

Tinush - Epiphany

Epiphany: Bowling For Soup

Visionate - Epiphany (Original Mix)

The Ocean - Epiphany