Forgiveness is a multi-faceted, multi-level issue. IMO, what it LITERALLY means is to get to a point from which you can once again GIVE to the person from whom you presumably were withholding something (good will, maybe? something you have that they actually do need?). For-give-ness is FOR being able to GIVE again, although that's merely the literal sense.
But Rogan's point is well taken: if we had never happened to be exposed to non-Pharma points of view, many of us might have joined in on the madness. In my case, if I had never gone to a deeply analytical grad school, I may not have ever been able to punch through that glass ceiling of ignorance & denial.--and I only decided to further my education because I happened to take one class--one--in my final semester of undergrad that challenged my world view and left me wanting more. So...forgiveness is an invitation to some humility and gratitude--a there, but for the grace of God, go I sort of thing.
And, speaking of humility, I suspect most of us rarely, if ever, say the words, "You were right; I was wrong". I try to say it once a month; it's good for my character.
In some cases-- most?--when I need to forgive another, it is true that my own dysfunction played a part in the drama, and helped bring harm upon myself AND the other. Turns out I'm just that dysfunctional. They may be unwilling to address their part, but I can make amends for my part. It's funny, but having made amends for my part makes me better able to forgive them for their part--whether they themselves make amends, apologize, or not. Something about that humility, again. It also clears my vision of lingering guilt and shame, so I can see the harm I might cause--and that others might. Christian scripture says, to paraphrase, "Don't condemn the sliver in your neighbor's eye until you take the log out of your own!". Point well taken. But what it implies, without saying so outright, is that, once your own log is out, you'll start seeing others' slivers and logs for what they are. Priests, ministers and AA sponsors somehow leave that part out, every time.
Does for-give-ness mean any thing more than giving, humility, gratitude and clarity? What it certainly DOESN'T mean is a return to naiveté and passivity, or allowing the other's harmful behavior to continue (assuming it's in our power to do something about it). Should we 'forgive' a pedophile, and in so doing allow them back into our lives when that would mean giving them access to children? Obviously not. We should advertise their perversion, if that will protect children, notwithstanding it might frustrate them and hurt their feelings. Should we forgive Pharma, then fall for the next round of fearmongering and wallet-scouring? Nay.
Forgiveness, should you choose to pursue it, doesn't mean sticking your head back in the sand. It doesn't mean you need to stop protecting those who need protected. Au contraire, if forgiveness is serving its vision-clearing function, then it should make us more likely to effectively protect self and others. Lack of anger in the face of harmful behavior is not normal or healthy, but a certain timbre and volume of anger may actually impede protectiveness, by creating a kind of mental static. For instance, we might guzzle a fear-anger cocktail for so long that we get literally tired of it, and perhaps uncomfortable with others' reactions to such a cocktail. So we might dump our supply of liquor and mixers down the drain...without ever having clearly thought through all the issues involved, at depth. The driving force behind forgiveness in this case, then, would be the realization that fear and anger may simply interfere with the calmheadedness that is required to respond to life in an inspired, decisive fashion. The issue is dropped like a bad habit--because it is.
It's an open question whether forgiving the unrepentant means TRUSTING them. Their very unrepentance implies that trust them you cannot. It's charitable to hold out hope that they might come around--not giving up on them might even encourage them to do so. But this is the charity of saints, which, as a flawed human, I may or may not be able to emulate. It may even do more harm than good by trying, if I can't back up my overtures with fearless faith and tough love. But as Rogan notes, if we do not at least attempt to forgive, and rebuild burnt bridges somehow (having to eat at least some of our own crow, I suspect), then we will be stuck in this binary, mutually antagonistic, tribal holding pattern indefinitely--as the Montagues and the Capulets were, leading to the demise of Romeo and Juliet; both young, beautiful and dead.
Should we even offer forgiveness, at all, to repeat offenders? Forgiveness, perhaps--or perhaps not--but certainly not trust. Can you really forgive someone you do not trust at all? It's been said that forgiveness helps the forgiver more than the forgivee, that "not forgiving someone is like drinking rat poison and then waiting for the rat to die" or "like not pulling a thorn out of your foot just because you weren't the one who put it there". This is unforgiveness conceived as am irrational dysfunctional constellation of thoughts and behaviors that, ultimately, harm the person wielding them--in which case, by definition, forgiveness should be sought. This is the habit of unforgiveness, as opposed to the choice. As James Hillman, the great Jungian thinker, said, "the problem with resentment is its narrowing effect on consciousness". In other words, unforgiveness and ill will can make you narrow-minded, unable to appreciate certain things or people or to adopt the best possible attitudes and actions to meet a given situation. In the thrall of this type of unforgiveness, it matters not whether the person you are angry at continues to try to hurt you, for you are hurting yourself and--there's no getting away from yourself.
Now, the depth of Pharma's criminality, in general and, more specifically, during the covid crisis, is hard to forgive. Plus which, there is every reason to believe they will repeat the playbook: manufacture a pandemic germ, overplay its dangers, offer a profitable solution, downplay its dangers and invent or exaggerate the dangers of any less profitable solutions. This is simply a business plan--one that made Pfizer, alone,100 billion dollars. We can expect it to be repeated. Should we forgive Big Pharma?
Well, yes and no. If we have become so obsessed with Pharma that it's ruining our life, with no constructive progress made towards improving the situation--then yes. If "forgiveness" means being nice and fitting in with your friends who still fear covid, and ignoring the ongoing threat--then, no.
Another facet to discuss about forgiveness (but not nearly the last) is that it cannot be forced. Forced is fake--and who wants to give or get fake forgiveness? It's a PROCESS, and you or I may be unable to simply will it to happen if the habit of unforgiveness runs too deep. It is my own belief that, taken as an end in itself, the drive to forgive leads invariably to the fake version. This is not forgiveness but codependency. If, instead, we turn our efforts to HEALING THE HARM within ourselves, to the point where the hurt has abated--then a sort of forgiveness follows as a necessary result. In a word: If they can't hurt us anymore (because we have healed), then we won't be so angry and judgemental towards them, no matter what they keep doing or not doing. To take just one example, if the harm is in feeling inferior, then work on NOT feeling inferior!..Even if those who abused you into an inferiority complex came to you on bended knee, confessing all and begging forgiveness--you would still need to do that work, most likely, or the shaming aftertaste of inferiority will return.
Remember, too: those who practice unforgiveness with others probably, at the same time, are practicing unforgiveness against themselves. Judgementalism towards others, and judgementalism towards self, are the same exact action--just turned in a different direction. Do you BELIEVE in punishment, as a principle...really?
Engaging in the process of forgiving others teaches us, at the same time, to forgive ourselves. And there is nothing that trips anyone up more than a habit of unforgiveness towards oneself--since you can't get away from yourself, ever. Nothing trips up a family or community more than a habit of unforgiveness.
Like I said, multifacted, multileveled.
